Helen (Pitchford) Deffenbaugh obituary

Helen Marie (Pitchford) Deffenbaugh of Poteau was born June 25, 1929 in Hartford, Sebastian County, Arkansas to Lester Kendricks and Amy Edith (Blaylock) Pitchford. She passed into Heaven on Oct. 10, 2025 in Heavener at the age of 96 surrounded by loved ones. Of all the things she did in life, the one that she was proudest of the “Living That Coach Wife Life”.  

Funeral services to honor Helen’s life are 11 a.m. Saturday at the Dowden-Roberts Funeral Home Chapel with Pastor Brock Hardin and Jerry Pitchford officiating. Burial will follow in Heavener Memorial Park, under the direction of Dowden-Roberts Funeral Home of Heavener, Oklahoma.

Helen graduated from Van Buren High School. She was married to her “Coach Ed” for 67 years. He had been known to look at her with a twinkle in his eyes and say, “See that lady? The Lord put her in my life. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me”. He served in the Marines one year and then the Army for three years. He carried a picture of Helen while he served and told everyone that she was his pin-up girl.

Helen and Ed were married on Sept. 5, 1953 at the First Baptist Church in Van Buren, Arkansas, when he had returned from his military service. They moved to Houston, Texas where Ed would graduate from the University of Houston with an Education Degree in 1959. Helen worked for Texas Eastern Gas and Transmission during that time as a professional secretary. She said she could walk the long halls of that building as fast as anyone and faster than some, even in her high heeled shoes. She also had to walk about a city block and a half through all kinds of weather to get to and from the building in those high heels.

Helen was a committed coach’s wife as he served 47-seven years as a Texas High School assistant coach and Head Coach. Everyone knew she was dedicated to her Coach Ed and in his commitment to his students in Crockett, Marshall, and SPX Houston, Texas. Nine of his former players signed professional contracts, and over 50 received college scholarships.

The couple made their home in Poteau after Coach Ed retired where they were surrounded by their large families. They also owned the former Lester and Amy Pitchford home in Heavener, Oklahoma. This home was well known as the family’s White House and it served as a nucleus for family gatherings and celebrations over the years. The house echoed with laughter, songs, and what was believed to be the best shared food. It was a place where the family could gather, hold hands, and pray for the food and those present as well as missing.

On Nov. 11, 2020 Coach Ed was recognized and honored by St. Pius X as they dedicated their new St. Pius X High School Baseball Wall of Honor and placed a plaque as the very first inductee and center piece of that Wall of Honor. The plaque read that he was beloved by students and players and he will forever be remembered as the “Father of the St. Pius X Baseball Program”. In 2011, Coach Ed was inducted in the Texas High School Baseball Association Hall of Fame. Helen was always celebrated along with their coach.

The players and students at St. Pius knew and respected Helen for her dedication to their Coach Ed and team. They said they had played even harder when Mrs. Deffenbaugh was where they could see her because they had been told she had been a Miss Arkansas. One day Helen asked them who had told them that. They said “Coach Deffenbaugh had told them”, to which Coach replied with a smile that she was HIS Miss Arkansas. They continued to declare her to be their Coach’s Miss Arkansas for the many years that followed and those young men had later told their children and grandchildren of their coach and his Miss Arkansas.

The nieces and nephews knew they could look up in the stands at any ballgame or school activity and see their Uncle Ed/Cliff and Aunt Helen supporting them. They often went to them asking for advice and they were eager to share when they thought it was to their benefit. Together they were an example to those around them of what love and guidance should reflect. Several of the SPX former students shared that they raised their children and grandchildren by the Deffenbaugh philosophy of life. They conveyed that they learned from them to “never quit when the going gets rough”.

Helen watched baseball and football at every opportunity. For nearly 70 years, she was a dedicated Houston Astros supporter and was known for her unwavering loyalty and passion for them. The main reason she took the newspaper was to follow the team’s lineup, batting averages, and other statistics.

Helen had a kind heart and reached out to others. She could always be counted on to call, write letters or cards for all occasions. It was rare that she ever forgot a birthday or an anniversary.  She had a gift for remembering events and stories and could quote details and experiences about those that had touched her life through the years.  Helen will be remembered and missed by many whose life she had touched.

Surviving family members are one brother Bill Pitchford and wife Lynne of Heavener; sisters-in-law Patsy Pitchford of Bossier City, Louisiana, Norma Pitchford of Poteau and Laura Mae Deffenbaugh of Arkansas; numerous very special nieces, nephews, cousins, and other relatives and friends that brought her great joy and support; innumerable students and their families that her husband coached and especially those of St. Pius X Houston, Texas that continued to be a special family throughout the years.

She was preceded in death by her parents; her husband, Edwin C. Deffenbaugh; three sisters Wanda Faye and husband Carl Richmond, Ida Sue and her husband Jesse Finch, and Bexta Jean Pitchford; three brothers Bobby Carrol and wife Patsy Pitchford, Earl Eugene Pitchford, and Lester K. Pitchford, Jr.

Pallbearers are Jace Pitchford, Jett Pitchford, Jerry Pitchford, Garrett Lynn, Ryan Jackson and Scott Hairrell. honorary pallbearers are Helen’s many nephews and grand nephews, the countless number of players that Ed Deffenbaugh coached and that loved the two of them.

In lieu of flowers, the family requests that you make a donation in your area for a youth or little league baseball team in honor of Helen.

Viewing is from noon until 6 p.m. Thursday and 9 a.m. until 6 p.m. Friday. The family will visit with friends on Saturday at the funeral home from 10 until 11 a.m. To sign Helen’s online guestbook please visit www.dowdenrobertsfuneralhome.com.